[ She swore to herself that she wouldn't crumple so, not when she has no many questions. He's an uncertainty, after all. Yet, here she is, only clinging to him tighter, fingers desperate to find something solid in his back. What if he disappears again the next time she closes her eyes?
[ At his little "joke", Pyrrha frowns - sad, not irritated. She wants him to take her seriously right now. In a way, her actions over the past two days are very much those of a child demanding to be on equal terms with an adult by acting out. By forcing severity into the situation, through roving feet, Pyrrha wanted to get away as much as she wanted to force him to come after her. Perhaps she's a manipulative girlfriend in that sense, Pyrrha thinks. She's certainly high-maintenance when she chooses to be. Later, she may (read: definitely will be) be embarrassed by her emotional flight.
It doesn't mean what she just said is any less relevant, even if she feels undermined by his little joke. Pulling away, Pyrrha wraps her arms around herself. It's a way to contain the warmth of him that risks seeping back out of her bones.
He keeps talking about roleplay. Her sorrowed frown only grows dour. ]
Jaune, please... Just don't.
[ The wind thoroughly diminished from her metaphorical sails, she sits down on the bed. ]
[ NOT THE ROLEPLAY, as he verbally made clear. He's absolutely taking her seriously and is only following her lead. If she makes jokes as a pirate, then so will he, if she has actual questions, then he'll answer, and if she doesn't want to talk at all then he'll just be here with her in silence. Whatever the case, he's not going anywhere.
Right now, though, he doesn't know what he's doing wrong. He's pretty sure it is his fault, somehow. It always is. Saying the right things are the wrong time, or even the wrong things at the wrong time. He wants to be the one to make it all easy for her, so why does it feel like he's doing the opposite? ]
[ Knowing she's being contrary, Pyrrha wavers a little. How not? He's trying so hard. She could at least make so he doesn't have to try too hard. These past few days weren't his fault, she reminds herself. The fault is still hers. ]
No, it's... I'm sorry.
[ The last thing she wants to do is exacerbate his poor self-esteem. ]
I - I do want to talk. [ A bit shyly, eyes hardly dry, she asks: ] Can you come sit with me?
[ An easy request, it's something he wants to do, but for some reason feels as if he needs her permission this time. He got it, and without hesitation claims a seat right beside her. Without thinking, his hand rests on hers.
He missed this... ]
You know, I thought... I believed that you were gone for good again. But... you're not, okay? You're here. I've said this before, but... all of this matters.
[ Underneath his hand, her own turns. It's not to push him away, though. Far from it. Palm up, her fingers link through his, tight enough to turn her skin white with decreased circulation. What will happen if she lets him go again? It's a sobering, awful thought. The emotional whiplash of him disappearing and then reappearing has left her feeling unstable, scrambling for purchase.
He speaks up, and his words cause her heart to hammer within her chest. Trying to be discreet, she turns her face away from him, only so she can use her free arm to rub her eyes dry.
He believed she was gone for good. All her fears recognised in a single line of dialogue, a world where she's irrelevant, part of his past and nobody's future...
... And her heart doesn't break to hear it. The world doesn't crumble to dust under her feet.
Pyrrha looks back at him, expression pained but not closed off. ]
So, you haven't— [ A brief pause, her voice catching, ] - changed your mind?
Changed my mind? Pyrrha, how could you think that...?
[ If anything, it's times like these that cement his decision. He had already made her a promise that there will be nobody else, he already made it clear at Selenium that this is what he wants. Is his word, the thing that's the most valuable an Arc has to offer, losing stock in her eyes? He's running out of ways to prove just what his best friend means to him.
Again, he swallows, not allowing himself to feel hurt, and squeezes her hand in return. ]
I love you in any world, any time, and any reality. I always have... even when I didn't know it. I just wish you knew how much you're a part of me...
[ Pyrrha knows she doesn't say it nearly as much as he does. She never wants him to think it's due to lack of reciprocation, or not feeling as strongly as he does. She's always been more careful with her words, but she needs him to know this. ]
You're the most wonderful boyfriend. I'm so grateful to have you in my life. No matter what, you're always there for me.
[ A pause. Strength gathers up in a breath. If this sounds like a break-up speech, that isn't entirely coincidental, but nor is it a completely accurate description. He made a promise, yes. She's skeptical on how effective it is when he can't remember it. The fairy tale of true love conquering time and space is merely that. When he goes back, he has his future. She desperately hopes he'll be happy within it. ]
To tell you the truth, I ran here because I couldn't escape my own thoughts. I was afraid when - if - you returned, you'd be different. Settled, perhaps. I was imagining you telling me about someone you met back on Remnant and how you wanted to start a family with her... [ Pyrrha briefly squeezes her eyes shut. It's a silly fear, yes, but that doesn't make it any less unsettling. ] I guess I'm a pretty jealous girlfriend, when it comes down to it.
[ He shakes his head rapidly and leans in, squeezing her hand even harder. This time, the squeeze is a little less than comfortable, and more borne out of resentment towards someone he actually met back home. ]
Pyrrha, I'm not looking for love in Remnant. My thoughts of you are what drive me every day. ... I'm looking for Cinder.
[ Whatever kind of life she's imagining for him in Remnant, it's so far from reality that someone in Jaune's position would almost wish it were that easy. He doesn't. He has made his choice.
He's not some kind of grand hero in Remnant, he's just a failure with a deathwish. ]
[ He knows that look, that tone... he's behaving like someone she doesn't remember, but he's unapologetic about it this time. After all those things Cinder had done, not just to him but all the Huntsmen and Huntresses with families, and laughed about it... he's more sure than ever about his mission.
[ If relenting means pulling his hand away entirely, Pyrrha doesn’t give him the full opportunity. Her fingers catch at his gauntlet, doing her best to keep him there. It’s as if he’ll disappear again if she lets go; for the first time, Pyrrha truly - empathetically - understands how he felt after their arrival here, justifying his paranoid preoccupation with her safety and proximity. She feels that way now. ]
Then you finally surpassed me.
[ With her free hand, she tucks some hair out of his eyes. ]
Is this going to be your life, Jaune? Chasing her down— is that what you really want?
[ If he says yes, she’ll accept it. If he says no, she’ll support that too.
She’s not trying to make him look closer at his choices. She simply wants to know. ]
[ It's not like he gets any enjoyment out of this hunt, so want is probably not the right word for it. ]
But I'm not just gonna sit back and let everyone else do the fighting.
[ Ruby and the others will go with or without him. He was already denied the chance to fight with his teammate, but he's way past the point of bearing any resentment towards Pyrrha's choice. He knows why she did it. Now? Pyrrha's courage has inspired him, for better or worse. He can only hope that she can understand and respect his convictions, too, reckless as they may seem. ]
It doesn't matter anyway. She's gone now. [ And if he hasn't made it clear enough-- ] I want this to be my life! You and me! Nora! Ren... you guys are my world.
[ Nora, Ren. Them. Pyrrha agrees wholeheartedly with what he says. Her world has narrowed considerably. He fills the crux of it, the first place her eyes go; the place her heart threatens to leap to every time it reverberates against her chest. ]
I - I believe you, Jaune.
[ That is to say, she's choosing to believe him. Ignis had told her as much: have more faith in the one she's chosen to share her life with.
In a slightly invigorated tone, she continues. ]
I want to hear about everything you've been doing back home.
[ Including what he had alluded to mere moments ago. Cinder's alleged demise doesn't feel like she thought it would. It doesn't unclench her shoulders or remove any weights from the pit of her stomach. ]
[ Truth be told, Cinder's demise doesn't feel like closure for Jaune either, but he's not sure if he wants to admit that right now. ]
I... want to tell you, but are you sure?
[ He knows that hearing about all the things he had experienced without her, both the good and the bad stories, would be difficult for her to hear. He's happy to just focus on their life here, if she would rather do that. Anything he says about Remnant will probably not make her smile, and it pains him to be cause of her pain.
Still, he will respect her choice either way, as long as she's certain. ]
[ It's his life. It's not irrelevant. More than that, though - his life is part of her life. That's the choice they made. Besides, Pyrrha tells herself. If it hurts - and it will, she's sure - at least she still has Jaune to help her through it.
[ She's sure. Good. He doesn't like the idea of keeping anything from her - it goes against the promise that they made each other. ]
Right. Well... the lot of us made it to Haven, as you could guess. We found Ozpin, who now shares his soul with that Oscar boy... [ let's assume ozpin/oscar explained this to everyone here, it's been a month ]
--anyway, there wasn't a lot of time to prepare for the upcoming attack, so he trained us as much as he could. A month later... she arrived.
[ This is where it gets good. ... He'll pause to let her absorb all this so far. ]
[ The window on the far wall cracks. Deflated by the mere sound of the woman's name, Pyrrha shrinks into herself. She ends up leaning against him in the process, forcing him to absorb her dead, slack weight. Her expression grows a touch savage, but it's not aimed at Jaune. If anything, his presence helps keep her grounded. The emotional feedback ends at a cracked window. ]
[ The more context he provides for this encounter, his muscles tense up. Nothing about his posture looks relaxed at all. ]
Qrow had a list of Huntsmen and Huntresses he was gathering at the time, hoping they could help us in our upcoming battle. ... He couldn't get a hold of a single one.
Turns out, the headmaster of Haven wasn't on our side, and he gave up Qrow's list to Cinder. ... She and her group slaughtered them all in secret. All good people, who died not even knowing why... all while she laughed and bragged about it.
I... couldn't stop thinking about what she did to you, so... I lost control and attacked her.
[ Through the power of hindsight, he realizes that he broke formation and did not stick to Qrow's plan. Truth be told, he must have known even then, and simply chose not to trust the adults who failed him before. ]
[ Well, now she's certainly relieved she didn't go to Haven, even though it was significantly closer than Beacon. Knowing that the Headmaster turned, assisting Cinder in such an egregious manner, it's hard to feel sympathy for the man. He might have been scared. Pyrrha had been scared, too. Right up until the end.
More than ever, Pyrrha feels like she failed for not trying to step into Amber's role sooner. It isn't a problem now, but Cinder should never have had access to that full breadth of power in the first place.
With her free hand, she rubs soothing circles into Jaune's back, just below his armor. (So, basically, her hand is close to his butt. It's a coincidence.) ]
What happened next?
[ It's gently asked. She isn't passing judgment. ]
[ Although his salty face doesn't express it as much, having Pyrrha next to him makes all the difference. Whether she knows it or not, she's helping. ]
There were others who joined her in the fight, making sure to keep us all divided. [ Such an obvious strategy now, in hindsight, and he's disappointed in himself for not keeping it together long enough to see it at the time. ]
She toyed with me, Pyrrha. Every word she said just made me hate her more and more-- [ another crack in the poor window glass ]
Then, in a moment of distraction, I... tried to end her.
[ It's a startling thing to hear that your boyfriend has tried to take a human life. Even if he views it as justice, or vengeance, Pyrrha is left wondering - surprised, stunned even, and barely hiding it - if she would have done the same thing. Remembering her disjointed encounter with Emerald some weeks ago, she finds that she doesn't have a real answer.
It doesn't matter so much right now. Jaune is the important thing. She doesn't intend to judge him. She's simply listening, doing her best to lend him her support. ]
No... She wouldn't.
[ It isn't as if Cinder understands the value of mercy.
A bit frightened for him now, Pyrrha shifts even closer. She'd like to pull him into her arms but refrains. It can wait until he's done. ]
[ If he weren't so ashamed of his actions, from his failure to win or to act in any rational way, he would just play her the full memory. It's still fresh and vivid in his mind, and will be for some time.
For now, though, it's best not to put Pyrrha in that world. He can tell she's worried for him, and he's just as worried for her. ]
Yeah. ...I could see it in her eye, in that one moment I almost got her... she was scared. [ And honestly? That felt good, despite his failure to finish the job. ] After that, she was livid and put me to the ground pretty quick, then threatened me.
Only I wasn't scared. I'd never give her the satisfaction...
[ The things she said about him were more hurtful than anything she could ever do to him. ]
That's when she knew how she'd get back at me. ... She made me watch, while she kills another one of us.
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You seem to have left my amulet behind, too.
[ It's said teasingly, with a soft laugh. He suspects why his amulet wasn't with her. ]
... How's pirate life been?
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[ She swore to herself that she wouldn't crumple so, not when she has no many questions. He's an uncertainty, after all. Yet, here she is, only clinging to him tighter, fingers desperate to find something solid in his back. What if he disappears again the next time she closes her eyes?
Pyrrha continues, ]
I don't want to be a pirate by myself.
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[ THIS AGAIN...
...but okay, he'll take this seriously. It is a serious concern, and he wants to hear her out. ]
Pyrrha, I'm... I'm here now. We can talk about it.
[ If she has questions, he'll let her go first. ]
--n-not the roleplay, I mean!
I hated that last tag and threw it out.
It doesn't mean what she just said is any less relevant, even if she feels undermined by his little joke. Pulling away, Pyrrha wraps her arms around herself. It's a way to contain the warmth of him that risks seeping back out of her bones.
He keeps talking about roleplay. Her sorrowed frown only grows dour. ]
Jaune, please... Just don't.
[ The wind thoroughly diminished from her metaphorical sails, she sits down on the bed. ]
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[ NOT THE ROLEPLAY, as he verbally made clear. He's absolutely taking her seriously and is only following her lead. If she makes jokes as a pirate, then so will he, if she has actual questions, then he'll answer, and if she doesn't want to talk at all then he'll just be here with her in silence. Whatever the case, he's not going anywhere.
Right now, though, he doesn't know what he's doing wrong. He's pretty sure it is his fault, somehow. It always is. Saying the right things are the wrong time, or even the wrong things at the wrong time. He wants to be the one to make it all easy for her, so why does it feel like he's doing the opposite? ]
...Sorry.
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No, it's... I'm sorry.
[ The last thing she wants to do is exacerbate his poor self-esteem. ]
I - I do want to talk. [ A bit shyly, eyes hardly dry, she asks: ] Can you come sit with me?
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He missed this... ]
You know, I thought... I believed that you were gone for good again. But... you're not, okay? You're here. I've said this before, but... all of this matters.
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He speaks up, and his words cause her heart to hammer within her chest. Trying to be discreet, she turns her face away from him, only so she can use her free arm to rub her eyes dry.
He believed she was gone for good. All her fears recognised in a single line of dialogue, a world where she's irrelevant, part of his past and nobody's future...
... And her heart doesn't break to hear it. The world doesn't crumble to dust under her feet.
Pyrrha looks back at him, expression pained but not closed off. ]
So, you haven't— [ A brief pause, her voice catching, ] - changed your mind?
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[ If anything, it's times like these that cement his decision. He had already made her a promise that there will be nobody else, he already made it clear at Selenium that this is what he wants. Is his word, the thing that's the most valuable an Arc has to offer, losing stock in her eyes? He's running out of ways to prove just what his best friend means to him.
Again, he swallows, not allowing himself to feel hurt, and squeezes her hand in return. ]
I love you in any world, any time, and any reality. I always have... even when I didn't know it. I just wish you knew how much you're a part of me...
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[ Pyrrha knows she doesn't say it nearly as much as he does. She never wants him to think it's due to lack of reciprocation, or not feeling as strongly as he does. She's always been more careful with her words, but she needs him to know this. ]
You're the most wonderful boyfriend. I'm so grateful to have you in my life. No matter what, you're always there for me.
[ A pause. Strength gathers up in a breath. If this sounds like a break-up speech, that isn't entirely coincidental, but nor is it a completely accurate description. He made a promise, yes. She's skeptical on how effective it is when he can't remember it. The fairy tale of true love conquering time and space is merely that. When he goes back, he has his future. She desperately hopes he'll be happy within it. ]
To tell you the truth, I ran here because I couldn't escape my own thoughts. I was afraid when - if - you returned, you'd be different. Settled, perhaps. I was imagining you telling me about someone you met back on Remnant and how you wanted to start a family with her... [ Pyrrha briefly squeezes her eyes shut. It's a silly fear, yes, but that doesn't make it any less unsettling. ] I guess I'm a pretty jealous girlfriend, when it comes down to it.
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Pyrrha, I'm not looking for love in Remnant. My thoughts of you are what drive me every day. ... I'm looking for Cinder.
[ Whatever kind of life she's imagining for him in Remnant, it's so far from reality that someone in Jaune's position would almost wish it were that easy. He doesn't. He has made his choice.
He's not some kind of grand hero in Remnant, he's just a failure with a deathwish. ]
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His squeezing fingers bite into her own.
She stares down at that, then. ]
... Jaune.
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With a small huff, he relents, then looks away. ]
I fought her, you know. Almost had her.
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Then you finally surpassed me.
[ With her free hand, she tucks some hair out of his eyes. ]
Is this going to be your life, Jaune? Chasing her down— is that what you really want?
[ If he says yes, she’ll accept it. If he says no, she’ll support that too.
She’s not trying to make him look closer at his choices. She simply wants to know. ]
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[ It's not like he gets any enjoyment out of this hunt, so want is probably not the right word for it. ]
But I'm not just gonna sit back and let everyone else do the fighting.
[ Ruby and the others will go with or without him. He was already denied the chance to fight with his teammate, but he's way past the point of bearing any resentment towards Pyrrha's choice. He knows why she did it. Now? Pyrrha's courage has inspired him, for better or worse. He can only hope that she can understand and respect his convictions, too, reckless as they may seem. ]
It doesn't matter anyway. She's gone now. [ And if he hasn't made it clear enough-- ] I want this to be my life! You and me! Nora! Ren... you guys are my world.
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I - I believe you, Jaune.
[ That is to say, she's choosing to believe him. Ignis had told her as much: have more faith in the one she's chosen to share her life with.
In a slightly invigorated tone, she continues. ]
I want to hear about everything you've been doing back home.
[ Including what he had alluded to mere moments ago. Cinder's alleged demise doesn't feel like she thought it would. It doesn't unclench her shoulders or remove any weights from the pit of her stomach. ]
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I... want to tell you, but are you sure?
[ He knows that hearing about all the things he had experienced without her, both the good and the bad stories, would be difficult for her to hear. He's happy to just focus on their life here, if she would rather do that. Anything he says about Remnant will probably not make her smile, and it pains him to be cause of her pain.
Still, he will respect her choice either way, as long as she's certain. ]
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I'm sure. I want to know.
[ It's his life. It's not irrelevant. More than that, though - his life is part of her life. That's the choice they made. Besides, Pyrrha tells herself. If it hurts - and it will, she's sure - at least she still has Jaune to help her through it.
To her, it's that simple. ]
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Right. Well... the lot of us made it to Haven, as you could guess. We found Ozpin, who now shares his soul with that Oscar boy... [ let's assume ozpin/oscar explained this to everyone here, it's been a month ]
--anyway, there wasn't a lot of time to prepare for the upcoming attack, so he trained us as much as he could. A month later... she arrived.
[ This is where it gets good. ... He'll pause to let her absorb all this so far. ]
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[ The window on the far wall cracks. Deflated by the mere sound of the woman's name, Pyrrha shrinks into herself. She ends up leaning against him in the process, forcing him to absorb her dead, slack weight. Her expression grows a touch savage, but it's not aimed at Jaune. If anything, his presence helps keep her grounded. The emotional feedback ends at a cracked window. ]
Please, go on.
[ She can handle it. (Probably.) ]
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Qrow had a list of Huntsmen and Huntresses he was gathering at the time, hoping they could help us in our upcoming battle. ... He couldn't get a hold of a single one.
Turns out, the headmaster of Haven wasn't on our side, and he gave up Qrow's list to Cinder. ... She and her group slaughtered them all in secret. All good people, who died not even knowing why... all while she laughed and bragged about it.
I... couldn't stop thinking about what she did to you, so... I lost control and attacked her.
[ Through the power of hindsight, he realizes that he broke formation and did not stick to Qrow's plan. Truth be told, he must have known even then, and simply chose not to trust the adults who failed him before. ]
What else was I supposed to do? She was there...
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More than ever, Pyrrha feels like she failed for not trying to step into Amber's role sooner. It isn't a problem now, but Cinder should never have had access to that full breadth of power in the first place.
With her free hand, she rubs soothing circles into Jaune's back, just below his armor. (So, basically, her hand is close to his butt. It's a coincidence.) ]
What happened next?
[ It's gently asked. She isn't passing judgment. ]
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There were others who joined her in the fight, making sure to keep us all divided. [ Such an obvious strategy now, in hindsight, and he's disappointed in himself for not keeping it together long enough to see it at the time. ]
She toyed with me, Pyrrha. Every word she said just made me hate her more and more-- [ another crack in the poor window glass ]
Then, in a moment of distraction, I... tried to end her.
[ kill ]
...She didn't like that.
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It doesn't matter so much right now. Jaune is the important thing. She doesn't intend to judge him. She's simply listening, doing her best to lend him her support. ]
No... She wouldn't.
[ It isn't as if Cinder understands the value of mercy.
A bit frightened for him now, Pyrrha shifts even closer. She'd like to pull him into her arms but refrains. It can wait until he's done. ]
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For now, though, it's best not to put Pyrrha in that world. He can tell she's worried for him, and he's just as worried for her. ]
Yeah. ...I could see it in her eye, in that one moment I almost got her... she was scared. [ And honestly? That felt good, despite his failure to finish the job. ] After that, she was livid and put me to the ground pretty quick, then threatened me.
Only I wasn't scared. I'd never give her the satisfaction...
[ The things she said about him were more hurtful than anything she could ever do to him. ]
That's when she knew how she'd get back at me. ... She made me watch, while she kills another one of us.
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